Should I Leave Him?

The Fourth Contribution

The Tree of Knowledge by Lucas Cranach the Elder

~ The Contributions is a collection of work not personally done by me but by friends who with sincere generosity have allowed for publication here.

Therefore, work found in the contributions may not be similar with my general line of thought. Thus, I will not comment, scrutinize, plagiarize, and justify anything that has been written here.

However, work posted in the contributions is in my sincere and humble opinion worth reading not only for knowledge but for pleasure!!

And like Voltaire, I may disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

~ ESZ, James Ee


My bags were packed placed in from of the door way but I can’t seem to leave this place, how could I? Its home, filled with so many memories and dreams. It is suppose to be the house my children will grow up in, a house for my husband and children to come home to. Why did he have to go ruin it? Why? Why? Is that women more attractive than I am? Was there something in our marriage that went wrong? Have I not been a good wife? How could he cheat on me!

So many things were going through my mind, I’m so confused, should I leave him? Should I stay? What should I do? I stood there staring at the door, just trying to convince myself to step out of that door and never turn back but I just can’t, not yet. I still can remember, as if it was just yesterday he brought me to my favorite restaurant Le Bernardin where we had our first date, he had lobster and I had salmon. After eating dinner we were just talking about our day at work over a cup of coffee that’s when he looked me in the eyes got down on one knee

‘You are the woman of my dreams and I have been a fool not to have done this sooner’ he said and then pulled out a ring ‘Emily I love you with all my heart and I will love you till the day I die. Will you marry me?’ he said

I was so shocked by his sudden proposal,

‘Yes! Yes Matthew yes! I will marry you’. I screamed immediately

Just thinking about it still makes me smile. How did just merely 5 years of marriage lead to this.

I should have knew, there were so many signs, late night meetings, frequent business trips, client meetings and other excuses he uses to answer my questions. Why did I ignored them? On that day he was so shocked when I caught him kissing that other woman at the island diner, I bet he didn’t suspect me to go there since it was in the other side of town, and I wouldn’t have if Amy from the bookstore hasn’t suggested its famous waffles. I was so furious when I saw him kissing that woman; I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to go over to yell at him, slap him or do something but I didn’t. I just went over there and looked him in the eye then walked away. He didn’t even come after me to explain. He just let me go. Then just comes home and pretend it never happened! I should have slapped him.

‘Sigh. What am I suppose to do now? Where am I suppose to go?’ I said out loud.

I looked at my bags by the door way they were ready to get out of this place but my heart is not ready to leave.

‘Cuckoo, cuckoo’ the clock rang, it has strike 5, I did not notice that I have been sitting here for hours. I feel so confused, so lost and alone what should I do? I felt tears rolling down my cheeks; I let them flow for I have made my decision. I gather up my courage wiped my tears away and thought to myself ‘this is the last time I would ever shed tears for this man, he does not deserve my tears’

‘I’ll figure something out, I don’t need him’ I said to myself

Then picked up my bags open the door and I stepped out. Then got into my car I took one last glance of the house thinking about all those my sweet memories then leaving it all behind together with my past. Then taking one deep breath I stepped on the accelerator and drive off never looking back.

~ Valerie



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