)-: The Philosophy of Freaks :-( – Metaphysics, Mazes & Mankind

~ Galatea of the Spheres by Salvador Dali


Oh! Let us never, never doubt

What nobody is sure about.

~ Hilaire Belloc


An easily understood definition of Metaphysics that can be shared with all of humanity:

  1. Metaphysics is the nature of nature.
  2. When he to whom one speaks does not understand, and he who speaks himself does not understand, that is metaphysics.[1]


Find below the horrid conditions of philosophers that took a liking to metaphysics:

  1. A blind man in a dark room – looking for a black hat which isn’t there.[2]
  2. A Chinaman of the Tang Dynasty – and, by which definition, a philosopher – dreamed he was a butterfly, and from that moment he was never quite sure that he was not a butterfly dreaming it was a Chinese philosopher.[3]


Behold the Ultimate Laws of metaphysics:

  1. Murphy’s Law: If anything can go wrong, it will.[4]
  2. Laws of Selective Gravity: An object will fall so as to do the most damage.[5]
  3. That that is is.[6]


A little two cents on the dreaded thing that humanity calls change:

  1. There is nothing permanent except change.[7]
  2. You can’t step into the same river twice.[8]
  3. Change is inevitable…except from a vending machine.
  4. Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor.[9]
  5. If you want things to stay the same, things are going to have to change.[10]

A simple conclusion to the question of what is mind and what is matter:

  1. What is mind? No matter.
  2. What is matter? Never mind.[11]
  3. I think, therefore I am. I think.

Metaphysics on Nature

  1. Death is nature’s way of telling you to slow down.[12]
  2. Whenever man comes up with a better mousetrap, nature immediately comes up with a better mouse.[13]
  3. A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.[14]
  4. It is only in literature that coincidences seem unnatural.[15]
~ Golconda by René Magritte

[1] Attributed to Voltaire.

[2] Attributed to Lord Bowen.

[3] Tom Stoppard, Jumpers, 1972.

[4] Arthur Block, Murphy’s Law and Other Reasons Why Things Go Wrong, 1977.

[5] Arthur Block, Murphy’s Law and Other Reasons Why Things Go Wrong, 1977.

[6] Attributed to Shakespeare.

[7] Attributed to Heraclitus.

[8] Attributed to Heraclitus.

[9] Robert Frost, The Black Cottage, 1914.

[10] Giuseppe Tomasi di Lampedusa, The Leopard, 1957.

[11] Bertrand Russell, Portraits from Memory. 1956.

[12] Graffito, London, 1978.

[13] Attributed to James Carswell.

[14] Samuel Butler, Life and Habit, 1878.

[15] Robert Lynd, 1879 – 1949, Anglo-Irish journalist.

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