+.+ The Philosophy of Freaks +.+ – Religion, Reason, Rhetoric

~ The Son of Man by Rene Magritte


I once heard the survivors

Of a colony of ants

That have been partially

Obliterated by a cow’s foot

Seriously debating

The intention of the Gods

Towards their civilization.

~ Don Marquis, 1927.

On faith:

  1. Skepticism is the beginning of Faith.[1]
  2. Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.[2]


God and men:

  1. Either God can prevent evil and he will not, or he wishes to prevent it and he cannot.[3]
  2. God is alive – he just doesn’t want to get involved.[4]
  3. If God had wanted us to walk around naked, we would have been born that way.
  4. It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person to reconcile himself to the idea that after all God will not help him.[5]
  5. Is man one of God’s blunders or is God one of man’s blunders.[6]
  6. The noblest work of God? Man. Who found it out? Man.[7]
  7. God is a comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.[8]
  8. If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.[9]
  9. If God made us in his image, we have certainly returned the compliment.[10]
  10. The course of nature is the art of God.[11]
  11. A watch proves a watchmaker, and that the universe proves a God.[12]
  12. All men are born with a nose and ten fingers, but no one was born with a knowledge of God. The mice living in a few little holes of an immense building do not know if the building is eternal, who is the architect, or why the architect built it. They try to preserve their lives, to people their holes, and to escape the destructive animals that pursue them. We are mice and the divine architect who built this universe has not yet, so far as I know, told His secret to any of us.[13]


Christians, the clergy and the church:

  1. The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found difficult and left untried.[14]
  2. Christian humility is preached by the clergy, but practiced only by the lower classes.[15]
  3. Archbishop: a Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.[16]
  4. People expect the clergy to have the grace of a swan, the friendliness of a sparrow, the strength of an eagle and the night-hours of an owl – and some people expect such a bird to live on the food of a canary.[17]
  5. A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to people who will never get there.[18]


On being an atheist:

  1. Few sailors are atheists, for they are in daily peril.
  2. An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.[19]
  3. It’s an interesting view of atheism, as a sort of crutch for those who can’t stand the reality of God.[20]


Heaven, a general description:

  1. Heaven is the place where the donkey finally catches up with his carrot: hell is the eternity while he waits for it.[21]
  2. Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs are French, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and it’s all organized by the Swiss. Hell is where the chefs are British, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss, the police are German and it’s all organized by the Italians.


Some useful general definitions and quotes:

  1. Confession, noun. The acknowledgement made to a priest of a sinful act committed by a friend, neighbor or acquaintance, and to which you reacted with righteous indignation.[22]
  2. Pray, verb. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.[23]
  3. Heresy is only another word for freedom of thought.[24]
  4. I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.[25]
  5. If man were immortal, do you realize what his meat bills would be?[26]
  6. Man is nature’s sole mistake.[27]
  7. Faith move mountains, but you have to keep pushing while you are praying.[28]

A Christian is a man who feels

Repentance on a Sunday

For what he did on Saturday

And is going to do on Monday.

~ Thomas R. Ybarra

~ The Mysteries of the Horizon by Rene Magritte

[1] Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1891.

[2] H.L. Mencken, Prejudices, Third Series, 1922.

[3] Attributed to Voltaire.

[4] Graffito, 1975.

[5] H.L. Mencken, Minority Report, 1956.

[6] Attributed to Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche.

[7] Mark Twain, Autobiography, 1924.

[8] Attributed to H. L. Mencken.

[9] Attributed to Voltaire.

[10] Attributed to Voltaire.

[11] Attributed to Edward Young.

[12] Attributed to Voltaire.

[13] Attributed to Voltaire.

[14] G. K. Chesterton, The Unfinished Temple, What’s Wrong with the World, 1910.

[15] Bertrand Russell, Autobiography, 1967.

[16] Attributed to H. L. Mencken.

[17] Revd Edward Jeffrey, 1964.

[18] Attributed to H. L. Mencken.

[19] John Buchan, Memory Hold the Door, 1940.

[20] Tom Stoppard, Jumpers, 1972.

[21] Attributed to Russell Green.

[22] Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary, 1911.

[23] Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary, 1911.

[24] Graham Greene, 1904 – 91, British Novelist.

[25] Winston Churchill, on his seventy-fifth birthday, 1949.

[26] Attributed to Woody Allen.

[27] W. S. Gilbert, Princess Ida, 1884.

[28] Attributed to Mason Cooley.

3 Responses to “+.+ The Philosophy of Freaks +.+ – Religion, Reason, Rhetoric”
  1. On the Bible:

    1. The Bible is the the teachings of God who knows everything. Yet at no point in the Bible do these teachings indicate any level of knowledge (scientific, technological etc) greater than the knowledge already held by the men who wrote it.

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